Time for the answer to be YOU!
As mother we tend to say our children, as children we might say our parents. As wives we may say our husbands but not too many women or men say themselves. Why is that?
In truth we cannot give what we do not have, so if we do not love ourselves then how can we really love another?
Could there be other games playing? One that has us playing small so we do not remember our own potentia.
l What are we really trying to get?
1. Approval to be shown that we deserve to be loved because in truth underneath people judge themselves harsher than anyone else would ever dare to do.
2. Save someone so then they can be beholden to you in some way
3. Be rescued because we do not believe in ourselves enough to know we will be OK.
4. Power – some people enjoy being in charge and having things done their way it gives them a level of importance.
All these situations can become addictive to a point we don’t even know we are playing the game. What if we were to realise we do not need anything from another, that we hold all the answers ourselves, we have forgotten our potential. What would happen if we stated by making ourselves NO1 for a part of everyday?
What if we were to ask for something that was really important to us, even knowing our partners would not approve. Would that be OK?
I have found when working with clients when they answer NO they are more likely to have a eating problem. Eating is a way to dull down our own potential, we get into a cycle of giving ourselves a hard time for being overweight, if this is true, who are we to have dreams of greatness? Crazy cycle that needs a light shined on it now.
When you understand what you desire is important enough to be acknowledged you may be surprised to see how solutions arise. The gift comes from how you feel when you decide to make yourself no1, maybe anxiety arises, what will people think, perhaps I will lose my partner. If either of these fears is true then they may not be the people you would want to be with today. If they only love you when you are playing victim game then I would be asking do they really love me.
The gift comes in letting go of the feelings, surrendering them to a higher power or get support initially until your own power returns.
This whole process needs to be done gently explaining it is not that you do not love your friend or partner yet this is a new phase of your life that you are exploring and some things may need to change. If they really love you they will be inspired even if not at first. They may feel threatened because people usually do not like change; this is none of your business they have to learn to deal with their feelings.
Start by making a list of you gifts and talents, YES we all have them start NOW
Speak soon Have a great day