Day 14 – Perfect Place, Time and People

I cannot believe how fast the weeks are going by and how one day I am up the next down. Last night I started to feel flu symptoms coming on, today the glands in my neck are up and I feel very heavy in the head. Time to take it easy, this “Too shall pass”

It reminds me that it is normal for life to have the ups and downs, on reflection of the last 5 -7 years maybe I had bought into the story that life should always be great, no problems. I had previously assumed that  if I was experiencing tough times that there must be something wrong with me. I never stopped to think this was just a normal phase of growth. When I judged myself harshly was when things started to go wrong, The judgement compounds the problems, my energy dropped and I went into a doom cycle that had me feeling depleted and unmotivated for days or weeks at a time.

At the time if I could have accepted that some days we will feel great, motivated and inspired and other days it could be my internal guidance system telling me time to take it quieter today. All is perfect no need for judgement or examination, it just is. Later I was to realise in the quiet and stillness I have been  able to hear the guidance that holds the next step or I have been able to acknowledge the feeling present that needs to be released for me to become the person to fulfil my dreams. The tiredness ended up being the gift to prepare the next ride.

My unrealistic expectation of how life should be is one of the things that started a downward spiral that lasted for years. When I thought at some level that I was lacking in something, I was more likely to buy something or some program to sort out the so called problem? Obviously I have nothing against education products but what I am suggesting is maybe I could have ask different questions. If I started with the premise that there is never anything wrong. Is what I am feeling reasonable for the situation I find myself in? Am I overworking? Am I living beyond my means? Am I truly grateful for the things I have in the now?

In answering these questions honestly, I then found myself asking, what do I really value beyond money? Are the things that I am doing risking the loss of any of these important areas of my life? If so, how I was feeling was the warning sign, a gift from my higher self, I wish I had known to stop and listen maybe I would not have had to pay such a high price.

I am a Cancerian, a homemaker, yet in my ego state I risked the family home to gain more money which in truth I did not need. I did not stop to listen to whether I was in or out of integrity with my own values. I am OK about it now yet it was a hard lesson to learn to honour youself first.

The journey has only just begun, insights are followed by personal growth, is that not why I are here in this life time? I think so!

Have a great day, you define what that looks, smells, feels and sounds like for you.

Love always

Jenny