Journey to Surrendering 12 kg

Day 4.

Wow no headache this morning, head just feels a bit heavy. Yesterday I found myself pondering on how often I would unconsciously choose to eat. Breakfast that extra piece of toast or 2 and then off for a wander down the shops, stop for a cup of tea and yes I probably order something sweet. It would not be long before I am back in front of the TV or computer and think about a cup of tea and probably a biscuit. Maybe there was a lolly grabbed from the door of the fridge. The day continues in the similar vein, go visit a friend and socialise over food and drink. Meet up with family and friends and eat. Watch TV or go to the movies time to eat.

The majority of the time I am not hungry, I have attached eating and being out and with friends as enjoyable. Take away the friends and I am left with a habit that says eating is enjoyable even when I don’t like cooking. I find I end up eating anything and have associated that as being enjoyable. When in truth I am eating stuff I don’t enjoy but has just become a habit

All good! This is a journey of discovery that is leading me to some bigger questions. Now I am asking myself WHY I would be doing these actions.

Even the process of digesting food regularly would be using a lot of my energy. Being overweight makes it harder to move around with ease so gives me excuse not to do exercise and get those endorphins flowing through my body. Could it be boredom or perhaps I am not living in integrity of who I am really know myself to BE. The latter instantly rings true.

To remember you are a being of unlimited potential that you have the ability to create all that you desire especially if it impacts the planet in a positive way can be overwhelming. All the old programs that tell you the opposite arise; time to eat would be my old pattern.

The eating pushes down the fear of what will people think, what if I fail and make a fool of myself. How will my life change? Now I am of the opinion who really cares? The majority of people hardly have time to care about themselves let alone be truly interested in me. As I mentioned yesterday “It is all about me” Do I really care about me and my life? Am I willing to stand up and share what I learn that could add value to other people who are willing to wake up to their own individual potential? Am I willing to honour all the amazing teachers who have supported my journey?

When we live our lives disconnected from our own individual potential and the passion we feel deep within, we will be sure to stay asleep to the patterns that have been holding us down.

Eating for me is obviously one. I remember being diagnosed with ulcers in my small bowel and a close friend told me I would need to drastically change my diet. My instant response was that it would be impossible to drop meat, sugar, white bread etc. even if it meant my death. When I look back at this and question am I addicted to the food that is so easily obtained these days? I know the answer is yes and that is OK because everything has bought me to this moment.

What would happen if I started to live my passion to inspire others to follow their heart? If I shared my journey of this game I call life, how differently would I feel? Well I have started here and I feel good, I understand those that are ready to awaken to their own potential will be the ones that will find my story. Thank you for coming back and sharing my journey and insights.

Have an amazing day. Send me your questions, perhaps we can turn our life around together.

Love always

Jenny

Jenny and Gary Leather

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