No one person’s feelings will be exactly the same as another in the same situation. This weight surrendering journey that I have been doing with my husband has been interesting for me to observe. We eat the same food, do the same exercise and he loses 9 kg and I lose 5.4 kg. In the morning we did a weigh in and I feel sad and jealous.
Logically he is male, I am female, we store and hold fat differently, he is 6ft 2ins and I am 5ft 2 ins. He weighted 95kg and I weight 74kg, logic does not come with feelings that present with a charge attached. If I was to logically look at our differences and then assess the loss in percentage of weight lost it would not seem so different. As I just mention logic does not matter when the feeling has been activated.
The feelings are attached to old stories where we have had similar outcomes, old energy of being in competition instead of co creating individual visions. The feelings also have the attached fear of “am I going to be able to reach my vision”. The answer is definitely YES even if the time frame needs to be expanded. I am truly ok with whatever is required to happen.
If I quickly flashed back in time I can see many times where I judged a situation and saw myself lacking maybe in beauty, brains or intelligence. When I have found myself judging a situation or a person, I have open myself to being jealous when I seem less than another. In truth I am a unique perfect human being that has different unlimited potential.
I wonder if these feelings are attached to the old masculine feminine energy conflict. Could be, I really no longer need to know, I am in a space of accepting what is and being open to release the energy and all stories that it is attached too.
“This whole competition role needs to change into co creation as a team player: being supportive while not being responsible for another person’s experience.”
Day 21 – Expressing our Gifts and talent – the world is in need!
I love watching the talents that arrive on the X factor and Australia / USA / Britain got talent shows. The ones that you feel goose bumps when they sing; it is like they are channelling an angel or a famous talent of the past. They don’t need to try they just BE and then DO then the desired outcome/ HAVE is a given. Pure Joy!
Are they guaranteed fame and fortune? No because raw talent is one component of a big picture that evolves every day. Life does not come with a guarantee. The ability to feel those feelings will always be there if they remember their why they sang. If they do it JUST for the money (Getting sucked into the ego game) life may send many challenges they need to overcome eventually finding their way back to connecting with the raw purity.
I am starting to own my hidden or not so hidden talents, I can see how I got drawn off MY path by the expectations and promises I thought could be. All good now obviously there was so much I needed to learn and heal before I could fully hold my own power. The challenges only highlight what needed work so the process could speed up.
When I was in the thick of my crazy reality I lost the ability to see my own gifts and talents. I needed to seek help!
I needed to learn to see my ability to inspire others to take the next step required to fulfil an outcome. To intuitively know what may be going on for a person and to come up with that next easy step. To educate and open people to new possibilities and potential experience’s is one of my visions.
I do not do this on my own; I get support and insights from a higher power, a part of me that does not live on this physical realm. Call it intuition, wisdom or knowledge from experience; it really does not matter if it adds value to other people’s journey.
When I was a nurse for 28 years (I worked Royal children hospital coronary care unit) I would get a sense that something was wrong with a baby, the machines did not tell us what was going on yet with 10 hrs the symptoms showed. With my own boys, our middle son kept getting ear infections and I would know 24 hrs before the doctor could see the problem. Over the years he got to know ‘Kevin is going to be sick tomorrow” and I would agree. It became a joke or I would just wait one more day.
I had never heard the word intuition or at least paid any attention. I thought that is what all nurses did because of their education or a connection between mothers and baby. (I learned to always trust the mum) I was later to realise I was tapping in to something that most of us do not understand yet have the ability to fine tune for yourselves.
I would suggest start to ask “What did you enjoy as a child?” What dreams have you set aside? How have you made a difference to another human being? These may help uncover some of your gifts and talents.
As a child I would sing out in the backyard pretending to be a singing star. I obviously loved the response from the pretend audience. I am sure that is why I like teaching and talking to groups from my experiences via my heart.
Isabel Vidal started out as my coach and evolved into a close friend who supports my journey of staying on my path to reach my greatest potential. She rang recently to mentioned that on reviewing my journaling she noticed that one moment I spoke about the “ I “ and then I would jump to the “we”. This was fantastic feedback because at some level I was still disassociated from the learning’s and insights that I was sharing. In truth the insights have come from my own journey of deep discovery and I am guessing still have a bit of a hold.
I went back to review the last posts and could see exactly what she had highlighted. I went in to edit willing to own my own journey of self-discovery. After doing 4 or 5 I decided to leave it and move forward all part of the journey and becoming conscious of how tricky our mind can be to have us stay the same and not move in to the future with ease supported by grace. Isabel for me is part of the grace
I had been justifying that when I moved to the”we” I was trying to support other people to understand their journey. (The rescuer shines again) This allowed me to maintain a distance from the truth and owning the insights as my new reality. I now realise the purpose of this journaling is about me owning my journey and sharing while standing in my truth.
As a parent I can see how I hid behind this facade because I did not know a different reality. I thought being the wife, nurse, mother, driver, cook, and cleaner was who I am supposed to be. As that need disappeared who was I now?
“This is an ongoing journey of evolving and exploring possible potential
and comes with unlimited opportunities.”
The challenge for me has been to choose the opportunities that serve the greater picture of my life. Not to get distracted by the gold shiny possible opportunities that end up taking me off track.
I now finding myself asking different questions “Will this serve my vision for my life or is it taking me away”? The answer comes quickly and enables me to walk away from distractions. If it involves financial exchange “How quickly can I recoup my investment”? What is the value exchange? How much control do I truly have in this investment?
Questioning have served all the different decisions that I have needed to make in relation to work, money or relationships on a daily, weekly or monthly basis. When I was operating unconsciously I asked none. I understand change does not happen overnight Patience is a virtue read on http://jennyleather.com/life/day-32-_-patience-is-an-asset
As I look forward and see my slim trim feeling terrific version of myself the self-doubt arises. Asking will I be able to maintain my new look and attached to that is my new physical reality of creating an education program for others to take back their power.
To support others to take the driver seat of their lives excites me yet still there is a layer of the unknown that could be perceived as fear or understood as just part of the unknown. I am good with not knowing the full how! The self-doubt attach’s it opinion to past stories of how I did or did not maintain my intention to manage my weight better in the past. I remind myself I am not the same person I was one month ago let alone 2-3 years.
I am now able to give myself the chance to BE the person I envision myself to BE. That includes being confident and gentle on myself as I navigate this new reality. I remind myself that I am in the driver seat and whatever I am willing to receive I can achieve. This brings with it possibilities of moving into my future with ease pain free. After rupturing a disc in my back 32 years ago and struggling with different issues in my hip and neck, I have noticed when I eat well and in moderation the pain disappears. It is probably my spirit trying to remind me of how I want to BE is vanishing from the realm of possibility if I chose to eat sweet fatty foods.
I also understand that I am the creator of all my reality and I can create a different relationship with food. I have probably seen it as the enemy and not my friend. I have called some food bad and others good creating battle within the foods themselves. At some level this battle is going on within me. Time to understand at a deep level everything is made up of the same molecular substance and that if I send my food love and gratitude for being in my life the internal struggle would settle.
There is probably a lot of sense in praying over your food sending it love and the energy of appreciation. There is so many people around the world that have no food and would love to enjoy a plate of anything let alone the quality I am blessed to consume.
Day 24 Own Your Feelings
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