Day 20 – Feeling blessed – My experience of healing
This year has been amazing time, many ups and downs. In February I was experiencing major shortness of breath and chest pain. Due to the fact my brother had a massive heart attack at 50 yrs old and died, I thought it was sensible to have a full check-up.
After all the tests and scans came back the cardiologist said my heart was perfect but that they had found a couple of nodules on my lung that should not be there.
As you do I started to do some research and for women over 50 these nodules had 57% chance of being cancerous. I decided I was going to be in the 43%.
I started doing some liver cleansing and lower PH of the body. The breathing problem persisted and if anything was getting worse. During this time, Gary and I had been living an isolated life but ready for a change; we decided to go to a one day workshop to meet new people.
I remember thinking “will we or will we not go” then a friend sent us 2 free tickets and it seemed we were meant to be in attendance. At the event we meet a friend who we have come across 4 times in 20 years. After having a great catch up he suggested we meet his girlfriend. (The reason I was there)
About 2 weeks later we made a time to get together, the night before I made a comment about “Wonder what this meeting is about?” I just had a sense it was not just coffee. Michael and Nicole had the same feeling. Not long into the meeting I shared my challenge with my lung and she told how she worked with St John of God in Brazil (I had already been told about him by 2 other people and even read about him on the internet) along with an amazing journey she has been experiencing.
I was in amazement!
I already understood all die-ease in the body is attached to blockages in the energy system and has emotional underlay. I could feel the healing work starting on me straight away. I was actually getting worse as we spoke. She told me this was huge loss issues in my life. I responded she had hit the nail on the head especially after the last couple of years.
We went on to discuss how she has bought a crystal healing bed from Brazil to a clinic in Melbourne and Sydney,( you can only do this if St John of God gives his blessing).
Usually it takes weeks to get an appointment but she mentioned she had time the next afternoon. Prior to hoping on the table, Nicole asked numerous questions and I told her the nodules were on the left side (In hindsight I never asked the doctor, I was shocked and assumed my heart was on the left therefore the lung must have been the left).
During the session, I knew some work was being done on the left side of my head and my whole right side only. Nicole confirmed and mentioned she did not know why the left side was not worked on. I went home annoyed that what I asked had not happened. That night I got worse and was going to the toilet every hour for 10 hrs. The next week I remember thinking I am getting sicker yet I sensed my body was cleansing something. Things improved over the next couple of weeks, I took prednisolone for the asthma and felt better. I had not gone back for my next scan; in truth I was scared of the outcome. Cancer was not a journey I wanted to travel.
A friend convinced me to go and face what needed to happen, so following Monday I went back to doctor to get paper work for the next tests. While we were there she mentioned the nodules were, 4.8 mm and 5.6 mm on the middle and upper lobe of the right lung. I could not believe my ears. Right side was where I had all the spiritual surgery in Nicole’s office. Immediately I knew I would be healed, the nodules would be gone. All the sickness following the session was getting rid of the disease. The following day I had the next scan and on Friday I got the results. No nodule only 2 faint white scars, an amazing blessing!
I had one other session for my hip that had been injured 30 years ago after rupturing a disc. I have had no pain killers or anti-inflammatory since that session.
This has been an amazing time; yesterday I found out that St John of God has given me permission and his blessing to learn how to facilitate the crystal healing bed here in Melbourne. After 25 years nursing, 10 years of studying energy healing and spirituality come meta physical reality, I’m not sure where my journey is taking me yet it feels exciting.
Thank you for following my journey and allowing me to share.
Isabel Vidal started out as my coach and evolved into a close friend who supports my journey of staying on my path to reach my greatest potential. She rang recently to mentioned that on reviewing my journaling she noticed that one moment I spoke about the “ I “ and then I would jump to the “we”. This was fantastic feedback because at some level I was still disassociated from the learning’s and insights that I was sharing. In truth the insights have come from my own journey of deep discovery and I am guessing still have a bit of a hold.
I went back to review the last posts and could see exactly what she had highlighted. I went in to edit willing to own my own journey of self-discovery. After doing 4 or 5 I decided to leave it and move forward all part of the journey and becoming conscious of how tricky our mind can be to have us stay the same and not move in to the future with ease supported by grace. Isabel for me is part of the grace
I had been justifying that when I moved to the”we” I was trying to support other people to understand their journey. (The rescuer shines again) This allowed me to maintain a distance from the truth and owning the insights as my new reality. I now realise the purpose of this journaling is about me owning my journey and sharing while standing in my truth.
As a parent I can see how I hid behind this facade because I did not know a different reality. I thought being the wife, nurse, mother, driver, cook, and cleaner was who I am supposed to be. As that need disappeared who was I now?
“This is an ongoing journey of evolving and exploring possible potential
and comes with unlimited opportunities.”
The challenge for me has been to choose the opportunities that serve the greater picture of my life. Not to get distracted by the gold shiny possible opportunities that end up taking me off track.
I now finding myself asking different questions “Will this serve my vision for my life or is it taking me away”? The answer comes quickly and enables me to walk away from distractions. If it involves financial exchange “How quickly can I recoup my investment”? What is the value exchange? How much control do I truly have in this investment?
Questioning have served all the different decisions that I have needed to make in relation to work, money or relationships on a daily, weekly or monthly basis. When I was operating unconsciously I asked none. I understand change does not happen overnight Patience is a virtue read on http://jennyleather.com/life/day-32-_-patience-is-an-asset
As I look forward and see my slim trim feeling terrific version of myself the self-doubt arises. Asking will I be able to maintain my new look and attached to that is my new physical reality of creating an education program for others to take back their power.
To support others to take the driver seat of their lives excites me yet still there is a layer of the unknown that could be perceived as fear or understood as just part of the unknown. I am good with not knowing the full how! The self-doubt attach’s it opinion to past stories of how I did or did not maintain my intention to manage my weight better in the past. I remind myself I am not the same person I was one month ago let alone 2-3 years.
I am now able to give myself the chance to BE the person I envision myself to BE. That includes being confident and gentle on myself as I navigate this new reality. I remind myself that I am in the driver seat and whatever I am willing to receive I can achieve. This brings with it possibilities of moving into my future with ease pain free. After rupturing a disc in my back 32 years ago and struggling with different issues in my hip and neck, I have noticed when I eat well and in moderation the pain disappears. It is probably my spirit trying to remind me of how I want to BE is vanishing from the realm of possibility if I chose to eat sweet fatty foods.
I also understand that I am the creator of all my reality and I can create a different relationship with food. I have probably seen it as the enemy and not my friend. I have called some food bad and others good creating battle within the foods themselves. At some level this battle is going on within me. Time to understand at a deep level everything is made up of the same molecular substance and that if I send my food love and gratitude for being in my life the internal struggle would settle.
There is probably a lot of sense in praying over your food sending it love and the energy of appreciation. There is so many people around the world that have no food and would love to enjoy a plate of anything let alone the quality I am blessed to consume.
This is one of my challenging areas to contend with at the moment. So following on from yesterday I ask myself what makes my heart sing?
I am enjoying going for a morning walk yet I will be VERY happy when it gets warmer or becomes a bit easier.
I have been living in a different area this year so firstly I needed to search for new walking paths. The criteria was that it had me feeling like I am out experiencing nature. This then becomes an enjoyable project.
Trouble occurred early in the year when I got lazy with my eating habits and put on 8-10 kg. I found my hip starts to hurt from an old accident. Pain causes frustration and then I turn to sweet food. It is quite interesting to examine when you go for what foods.
The pain then gave me an excuse to not be able to exercise or I would use the excuse that it too cold etc. The time comes when even you know enough is enough. I hit that spot about one month ago. I am realistic and know over the coming months the walking will get easier then I have a plan to build core strength and muscle tone. My sons are all ready to help Gary and I work out, they have got the boxing gloves ready. New adventure!
Today I walked “The tan” 4 km around our beautiful botanical gardens here in Melbourne. The view is breath taking especially if you are able to take the time to wander though. Great to stop for a cup of tea and read the paper! For me this helps to make it an experience instead of just exercise.
A year ago we were walking along the beach down at St Kilda 3 – 4 times a week then meeting the boys to do some group work that included the boxing. I actually was enjoying the whole experience then life happened, a couple of issues exploded and before I know what I went back to all the old habits.
As I have mentioned I was not dealing with how I felt nor was I ready to challenge the absurdity of the situation. Easier to eat and pretend that what is happening is not a reality.
“Old pattern recognised and released, new pattern being embedded. Bring it on!”
I never really understood at school why I was forced to focus on the things that I was not good at instead of spending the time improving my skills on what I loved doing. Yes it is an advantage to be able to read and write to function in this world. Now I am realising to be happy and value yourself has a way higher priority.
For some people the playing of sport makes them go into anxiety attacks, the idea of being snuggled up on the couch reading a good book is exciting to them. Whereas others like me hated the idea of painting or sitting inside reading a book, it made me feel like a prisoner. My spirit needed to be out in the fresh air, neither way is any better than another; it is about finding out what has you feeling good. Interesting as I got older I enjoyed the reading and not the sport. This has shown me values and priorities change at different stages of our lives.
The point is I have been given freedom of individual choice on purpose; my job is to find out what makes MY heart sing on a daily basis.
I love exploring how our mind and spirit play the game of life together. How each has their own opinion of what will serve my journey. It could be perceived to be a power game yet I now realise if I view it as a marriage where I value and honour each components gifts. I am going to be able to experience life in an awesome fashion. Designed by me!
The spirit understands the game I came to earth to play. It understands the sacred contract that was agreed to so that I could heal and evolve to reach my greatest potential. Where the mind, was to play its part by allowing me to see different perspectives of everything, enabling me to choose which would have me moving towards or away from my vision.
Even in this weight loss journey I can be in control of my mind and tell it what is my desire and how the game will be played. It is interesting to notice neither Gary nor I have been feeling hungry. Yes every now and again I think I would love a chocolate biscuit with my cup of tea. I stop” and ask myself will it take me towards or away from my vision of being “Slim Trim feeling Terrific”? Yes no further thought required!
I am not saying I can never have a chocolate biscuit but for the moment, I do not need it and am choosing not to have one. Big difference from the last couple of years: eating whatever I wanted unconsciously not worrying about the outcome. I was also doing this with decisions in other areas of my life mainly because I feared the outcome of looking at reality.
Fear is the predominate energy that gets many of us into trouble. Fear of what will happen or what something may mean. The government and the large corporates love having people in fear because they can be easily manipulated to play their games and cover the fear up with buying things and eating. Very profitable areas of the economy as I can see by the annual turnovers! When i overeat, I realise I become sad, self-critical; this is the cause of the vicious circle starts over again.
At this point the mind is in control and the spirit is being ignored the majority of the time.
When I choose to come from LOVE and that starts with love of self, I am able to choose what makes me happy in any moment.
Enjoy the day while pondering on “What makes my heat sing?”