Day 27 – What do I want to create throughout my life?
To find a duplicable path to experience joy and happiness beyond the daily apparent challenges that appears.
To let go of the story that says challenges is wrong, it is apparent the test comes before I acquire the insights available for my personal growth.
If it is my destiny to inspire / support others, so be it, if not that is OK as well.
With the understanding that all that is showing is ultimately supporting me to remember my greatest potential. Whether it is: the weight loss journey, the financial upheaval or the business evolvement that I have showing up presently in my reality. It is a matter at watching the synchronicity of the unfolding events that are occurring and how I feel in any moment.
Alongside the apparent events I have incredible support working with my friend and coach Isabel Vidal from South Africa and Nicole Rigato who is supporting me to work with and through St John of God, Very interesting times.
Life is always offering keys to support understanding or personal healing.
Is there a common theme? Yes to each of these experiences in the past I have given my power away for a multitude of reasons I am no longer prepared to accept.
So now I need to be awake, observe with inquisitive eyes.
Each situation without judgement of right or wrong, if it is present it is as it is. Tuning in regularly to see how I am feeling while having the intent to allow all these emotions to keep moving through and beyond me. In recognising whether these thoughts predominately inspire me to keep moving forward or are they holding me back. I am happy to say I feel very motivated to keep going with the flow of my life.
The relaxed content space that I am holding feels good, the unknown is present yet I am Ok for now. The self-judgement has greatly eased and I feel I am flowing with life.
This is one of my challenging areas to contend with at the moment. So following on from yesterday I ask myself what makes my heart sing?
I am enjoying going for a morning walk yet I will be VERY happy when it gets warmer or becomes a bit easier.
I have been living in a different area this year so firstly I needed to search for new walking paths. The criteria was that it had me feeling like I am out experiencing nature. This then becomes an enjoyable project.
Trouble occurred early in the year when I got lazy with my eating habits and put on 8-10 kg. I found my hip starts to hurt from an old accident. Pain causes frustration and then I turn to sweet food. It is quite interesting to examine when you go for what foods.
The pain then gave me an excuse to not be able to exercise or I would use the excuse that it too cold etc. The time comes when even you know enough is enough. I hit that spot about one month ago. I am realistic and know over the coming months the walking will get easier then I have a plan to build core strength and muscle tone. My sons are all ready to help Gary and I work out, they have got the boxing gloves ready. New adventure!
Today I walked “The tan” 4 km around our beautiful botanical gardens here in Melbourne. The view is breath taking especially if you are able to take the time to wander though. Great to stop for a cup of tea and read the paper! For me this helps to make it an experience instead of just exercise.
A year ago we were walking along the beach down at St Kilda 3 – 4 times a week then meeting the boys to do some group work that included the boxing. I actually was enjoying the whole experience then life happened, a couple of issues exploded and before I know what I went back to all the old habits.
As I have mentioned I was not dealing with how I felt nor was I ready to challenge the absurdity of the situation. Easier to eat and pretend that what is happening is not a reality.
“Old pattern recognised and released, new pattern being embedded. Bring it on!”
I never really understood at school why I was forced to focus on the things that I was not good at instead of spending the time improving my skills on what I loved doing. Yes it is an advantage to be able to read and write to function in this world. Now I am realising to be happy and value yourself has a way higher priority.
For some people the playing of sport makes them go into anxiety attacks, the idea of being snuggled up on the couch reading a good book is exciting to them. Whereas others like me hated the idea of painting or sitting inside reading a book, it made me feel like a prisoner. My spirit needed to be out in the fresh air, neither way is any better than another; it is about finding out what has you feeling good. Interesting as I got older I enjoyed the reading and not the sport. This has shown me values and priorities change at different stages of our lives.
The point is I have been given freedom of individual choice on purpose; my job is to find out what makes MY heart sing on a daily basis.
I love exploring how our mind and spirit play the game of life together. How each has their own opinion of what will serve my journey. It could be perceived to be a power game yet I now realise if I view it as a marriage where I value and honour each components gifts. I am going to be able to experience life in an awesome fashion. Designed by me!
The spirit understands the game I came to earth to play. It understands the sacred contract that was agreed to so that I could heal and evolve to reach my greatest potential. Where the mind, was to play its part by allowing me to see different perspectives of everything, enabling me to choose which would have me moving towards or away from my vision.
Even in this weight loss journey I can be in control of my mind and tell it what is my desire and how the game will be played. It is interesting to notice neither Gary nor I have been feeling hungry. Yes every now and again I think I would love a chocolate biscuit with my cup of tea. I stop” and ask myself will it take me towards or away from my vision of being “Slim Trim feeling Terrific”? Yes no further thought required!
I am not saying I can never have a chocolate biscuit but for the moment, I do not need it and am choosing not to have one. Big difference from the last couple of years: eating whatever I wanted unconsciously not worrying about the outcome. I was also doing this with decisions in other areas of my life mainly because I feared the outcome of looking at reality.
Fear is the predominate energy that gets many of us into trouble. Fear of what will happen or what something may mean. The government and the large corporates love having people in fear because they can be easily manipulated to play their games and cover the fear up with buying things and eating. Very profitable areas of the economy as I can see by the annual turnovers! When i overeat, I realise I become sad, self-critical; this is the cause of the vicious circle starts over again.
At this point the mind is in control and the spirit is being ignored the majority of the time.
When I choose to come from LOVE and that starts with love of self, I am able to choose what makes me happy in any moment.
Enjoy the day while pondering on “What makes my heat sing?”
Another cloudy yet beautiful morning pondering on how did I ever get on the dieting cycle?
I think most of the weight loss centres intention started out to support people to lose weight but within a very short time realised for the business model to work people would need to buy their brand of diet products that started a multibillion dollar industry that may now have an agenda about people not healing the underlying issues. They want people to keep returning 2 -3 years down the track if not sooner.
They sell lifetime packages hopefully to gain loyalty when they need to return next time. They really make their money on the food and support products we all buy. I have no issue with people making money but imagine the response from customers and the referrals that would follow if they could deal with the underlying self-worth or fear of success issues as well. Wow would that be worth attending.
The better answer would be to have emotional intelligence as a class in school. Start with the healing before the physical issue manifests into a reality.
Enough of the soap box, I can see if we understood to deal with our emotions and not stuff them down and lay concrete on top we would have a lot less dis-ease.
As I have mentioned numerous times emotions are a gift that can allow healing on the inside with ease. As children if our feelings are acknowledged instead of comments like ‘stop crying you baby”. This was said too many boys as a way of making them more manly. They learned that to show emotion is wrong, must stuff it down and after many years they have trouble feeling or dealing with life challenges that appear. They did not learn to understand and release the emotion that is now held in the body they are holding all the anger, pain, sadness etc. all undealt with emotion.
What was said to you that stopped you believing in you? Who stole your dreams? How did you feel at the time and how did you respond at the time. What have you been telling yourself all these years after that occurred. Maybe who do I think I am to do xyz or I really am not smart enough to do ABC.
Let’s look at another possibility, A teacher says XYZ that has you feeling small and worthless, you feel, angry, embarrassed and do not hear that she is attempting to highlight something you did that is hindering you succeeding from her opinion. All that you can think about is your friends that are listening to this and what they might be thinking.
I am here to tell you, it is not about what they are or aren’t thinking it is about how you are feeling. Those feeling were within you or they would not have presented. We may not remember what incident or drama they are attached to and we do not need to know anything other than it is time to surrender these emotions to a higher power (whatever that is for you, God, Allah, Budda, Universal power, Love) and ask for help and support. Where else are you feeling vulnerable? What action do you need to make to feel safe? Who can you talk too for support? These would have been valuable question to examine in the moment of the incident. No time like the present ask the questions now.
When we release the feeling attached to these or any story we can be free to BE anything that we can imagine. You can achieve and DO anything that brings you joy, hope, optimism so dare to have ago.
Dare to put your old way of being behind you and forge a life that supports your dreams and passion.
Excess weight is a symptom of being out of alignment with your authentic self. It is a journey to uncover you magnificent authentic self, a journey well worth endeavouring on.
It is always “All about you” and the vibration you are emitting to the world. If we emit self-love and strong self-worth backed by travelling a path that delivers our gifts to others, magic will happen to bring joy and love into your life.
Day 12 – Wow how a great night sleep has me feeling rested and content in myself. Over the last couple of years I have not been sleeping well yet blamed it on my age. I went through menopause with amazing ease other than poor sleep. I decided a long time ago not to worry or focus on the number of hours just check in to how I was physically feeling each morning.
Yesterday I decided to get a multi vitamin tablet for women over 50 and Yes last night I slept probably 10 hours, AMAZING. I understand yesterday I did some healing work and yes I was tired so I will let you know how I go over the coming month.
I have never been one for taking a tablet for every little dis-ease that present, intuitively I always knew there was other ways that could help. The power of the mind body spirit combination and the willingness to let go of emotional feelings around experiences in my life has had massive healing properties..
It is interesting that we wait until a traumatic event arises before we go in search of answers. I wonder is it human nature to wait until we are sick? How beneficial would it be to do research now so the dis-ease in our body does not even become a reality in the NOW.
From my reality we are the script writers of our movie called “Our Life Journey”, I chose all the cast members (YES all the cast) and I am designing how this movie will play out. I have all have previously chosen the things I need to learn and experience in this life time so I can heal at a deep level for once and for all time. Stay with me if this is a stretch for you because this reality has given me the power to design my future as I want to experience it. I am happy to answer any questions that arise.
When I started to clean up the body from the inside both physically and emotionally I was able to find myself dreaming about the way life could be. I started to make a list of what I would like to do and see in the coming years. I have created a collage of picture to support me to remember what these things will look, feel, smell, sound and BE like for me.
I have done this numerous times and over the following years I cross them off as they became a reality.
Interesting to review when life went off track I stopped dreaming and setting intent, I froze and could no longer see possibility. I understand how this can become reality you are so intent on giving yourself a hard time. Going over and over what went wrong and how you could have been so stupid to get caught in the illusion. Hoping someone would come along to rescue you. If this is you, the answer is in letting go of the feelings that are draining your energy / life force particles. You will need support of loving friend or coach.
Welcome to the real world, I now realise that when you are living full out, every now again you get caught in the ego of thinking you are playing this game without a greater help. That is why I created the “Reclaim Your Power flipchart” it supported me to see where my mind was at in a glance.
I now realise I would be dead if I had really lost connection with a higher part of myself permanently. The ups and downs were present for me to heal the feelings on a deeper level than I consciously understood. I decided to surrender to what was required for me to reach my potential to achieve that which I was here to do.
I believe it is to inspire people to find and love themselves to share their individual gifts with the world.